Your Tech Partner’s Love Language Isn’t a Jira Ticket
An effective relationship with your data or technical partner can be one of your most rewarding - if you bring the right mindset.
If you work in Product, you know the drill: you collaborate across departments and pride yourself on strong relationships. But sometimes there’s that one technical partnership (like IT, Engineering, or Data Science) where things always feel harder than they should.
Cue the frustrated Product Manager:
"Engineering didn’t respond."
"The data team missed the deadline and misunderstood the ask."
"IT dropped the ball on a critical detail."
And then comes the escalation: “But I’m the client!”
The truth? You may be the internal client, but your success depends on their expertise - and they’re likely juggling competing priorities across the organization.
If you’re asking them to solve a tough problem or build something new, you’re not making a routine request. You need their partnership, not just their output. That starts by shifting your mindset from “I need this task done” to “We’re solving this together.”
Here are three mindset shifts that can turn tension into momentum - and maybe even help you love your tech partner (or at least stop cursing their name).
1. Your Language is Not Their Language
Working across functions is like working across cultures. You wouldn’t land in a foreign country and assume everyone thinks, communicates, and works like you - and the same goes for collaborating with technical teams.
Salespeople behave differently from accountants. Designers think differently from developers. Your data and technical partners likely work and communicate differently from you.
For example:
Requests for a “rough” estimate before specifications are detailed may leave your technical partner feeling exposed.
An unstructured meeting may feel like a waste of time, not a creative brainstorm.
Quick pivots or vague specs can feel chaotic, not agile and market responsive.
Treat your partnership like a cross-cultural exchange. Ask questions. Learn what matters to them and why. It’s not just more respectful - it’s more effective.
2. Your Win May Not Be Their Win
You and your technical partners are likely measured on different success metrics. Your performance review may focus on user engagement, feature delivery, or business outcomes. They might be optimizing for data quality, system stability, or minimizing technical debt.
So don’t assume your priorities automatically align. Instead, surface them.
How to do this? Early in the project, you can share your goals and ask your technical partner to share theirs. It may feel awkward, but framing it as aligning priorities usually gets a thoughtful response.
And don't forget personal motivations. Your partner might want to:
Get promoted.
Move into a new role.
Learn a new skill or tool.
Be recognized as the expert on a complex system.
Figure out what kind of projects energize them. Pay attention to what lights them up. Is it tackling a gnarly problem, mastering a new platform, or building elegant solutions?
Identify their win and then help them get it. You can often find a way to align some of their goals to the project.
3. Assume Nothing (Except the Burden of Communication)
My dad often says, “Communication is the responsibility of the communicator.” And when you're working cross-functionally, that responsibility falls to you.
It’s not that your technical partners have no responsibility - it’s that you have the most to gain by getting communication right.
Here are a few places where communication often breaks down:
Small to you ≠ small to them. A “quick tweak” could have major downstream effects. Ask: is this a small, medium, or large effort? Then ask for a rough range because your “medium” might not be theirs.
Don't shoot the messenger. Project delay or cost increase? Skip the blame, acknowledge what’s happened, and move into problem solving with your partner.
Clarify with visuals. Sketch what a report or feature should look like. Verbal alignment usually isn’t enough, even with well-honed teams.
Ask when you don’t know. If they mention something you don’t understand (like a trade-off in using R vs. Python), ask. It shows confidence and interest, not weakness.
Understanding Isn’t Optional - It’s the Engine of Productive Collaboration
Great relationships with your data and technical partners don’t just happen - they’re built. And the payoff is real: better collaboration, smoother execution, and more rewarding work and relationships.
Here’s what to remember:
Be culturally sensitive to functional differences.
Understand what motivates your partner and find their win.
Assume nothing. Own the burden of clear communication.
This isn’t extra work. It’s the real work of how you make good stuff happen.
You’ve got this.
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